Every Day A New Beginning...

Well life never ceases to amaze me. I've not been well lately and having been doing what I can to move forward. I had all but consigned myself to believing that, other than my sons, this journey called my life would be just me on my own. I had quit thinking that anyone else would come along that I could enjoy or would enjoy life together with me.

Oh it's not cause I don't think I am worthy, not that at all. I have just had too many experiences with relationships that didn't work, due to lack of successful communications. So when I least expected, and I really, really wasn't looking, wham... Here this amazingly wonderful man shows up. Of course I was highly skeptical, really not believing that this could be a functional man. But because I am open minded, and willing to listen, I did just that.

By all appearances and conversations he seems to be just that. Though I haven't known him long, the screaming mi mi that I have in me isn't hollering RUN RUN.. not at all. That in itself is a surprise to me. But entering a relationship after years and years of not having one leaves me with a lot to question and learn. Not about him, but about life and myself.

I have discovered that the word Love is just that. It is a word that labels a feeling that I am having that no other word fits to. And there is a difference between loving someone and being in love. I do love him, and he has said the same to me. Even though he has tried to hold it back.

Wow...

Well back again,finally,again. I suppose I am slacking in a lot of areas other than just this blog. But I have been busy doing stuff. Then again I have been doing nothing. If that doesn't make sense it doesn't surprise me.

I have been working on learning Photoshop and all it's in's and outs. I am posting my first couple pieces of digital art here, so I can forever remember where I started. The thing that scares me about digital art is the fact that if the world every loses its electric, well then, the art is all gone.

The top two are cg and the bottom two are from a page in the coloring book I designed. Both, or all, of the examples show what different mediums can do. The bottom two being done in color pencil and the other in graphite and charcoal. I enjoy doing art in whatever medium I use. The new thing, the CG is strange. I spent about 10 hours working on it and ended up with hand cramps.

Life is the Movies, Without Popcorn

I missed posting anything yesterday, and I'd like to say I was busy, but I wasn't. I was resting and visiting with my oldest son (he came for a visit). It is always a pleasure for me when my sons come to visit me. The are so smart and wise way beyond their years. I wonder where they got it from... lol...

I watched a couple really strange movies yesterday. Strange in a not very good way. One was a Asian movie called "The Suicide Circle". Upon asking me why I would watch such a thing I would have to say curiosity got the best of me. The story itself was an interesting one. The making of the movie could have been better though. It was very strange indeed, not something I would watch twice, in fact I wouldn't have watched it once if I had know how bad it was really gonna be. I have included a clip of it that I found on youtube. I must warn you though it is really stupid and it's no wonder teens do dumb things if they watch movies like this.


I am a movie buff and enjoy the entertainment. I have a low tolerance for bad acting or weak story-lines. I am not into horror because usually it is pretty lame. I can't remember the last time I watched a movie that really frightened me, which is good. I guess once you start studying special effects and such, movies loose some of the drama. So it has to have a good storyline or I get distracted easily.




Life is like a movie. We all have our parts to play. We can change what part we want to play at any time. I myself have changed my part hundreds of times. Each part sends me into a new chapter of my life. But as I have aged I have found that playing the part in a drama is not for me. My life is more of a comedy/character study type movie now. The good thing about this realization is that now I can watch the movie you are playing in.

I have found that looking at life like this has helped me a great deal. Especially when it comes to anger. I don't have to carry stuff around from scene to scene. Once the scene is over it's over and replaying it only reminds me how badly I played my part. You know how it works, you scream, you cry, you pout... who wrote this into your play? Well honestly you did, and I did it in my life too. I am not saying it will never happen again, it's just I no longer want to play a part like that anymore.


"All the worlds a stage..." -- Shakespeare