Wednesday, October 1, 2008

No Matter What

So what does 'No Matter What' really mean?? I love you no matter what... hmm... well I know what it means to me. Whether a relationship works or not, I am still going to love you. I may not be able to live with you, but I will still love you.

My very special man, Bruce is his name, and I agree on this belief. You always love those you loved. But that doesn't mean that you are willing to live in an insufferable situation because of that. Love doesn't include martyrdom inside of a couples relationship. If I love you I want you to be happy. I want to be happy too. No matter what, means to me, that you can be you, always. In fact, the you that you are is who I was attracted to in the first place isn't it? Oh I may not know all your in's and out's but love doesn't mean that we have to like everything about each other. No matter what is just that... Come what may I am by your side.

When my husband Roy was sick with Leukemia I was next to him all the way. I was surprised how many people said they couldn't have done what I did. But I don't see how a mate couldn't be next to the one they love to their last breath. I have already informed Bruce, I am here, come what may. He is the nicest guy... He is spoiling me with affection and we are just getting started, and I am doing the best I can as well.

The other thing that is great is that we can, and have, talk about anything and everything. I am not afraid to speak to him. I am just gonna be me, I don't want to be anything else. Everything about him is impressing me to no end. Oh hey I am not stupid, I know we all have faults and shortcomings. In fact I probably have more than my share, but I don't feel that when his should surface that I will want to try to change him or them. I just want to accept him the way he is, let him live his life, just like I want to live mine.

The nice thing is, I have a very special man to share my life with now. I honestly didn't think it would be arriving again in my life. So this is very exciting to me. He is handsome, intelligent, talkative, spiritual, and incredibly sexy... that always helps... Having an open mind and willing to chat is what growth is about, and that dear friends is what my life is about. Growth and change, and if anything will excel that, it is an intimate relationship. Today is a good day, and I will love you all... No Matter What...

Every Day A New Beginning...

Well life never ceases to amaze me. I've not been well lately and having been doing what I can to move forward. I had all but consigned myself to believing that, other than my sons, this journey called my life would be just me on my own. I had quit thinking that anyone else would come along that I could enjoy or would enjoy life together with me.

Oh it's not cause I don't think I am worthy, not that at all. I have just had too many experiences with relationships that didn't work, due to lack of successful communications. So when I least expected, and I really, really wasn't looking, wham... Here this amazingly wonderful man shows up. Of course I was highly skeptical, really not believing that this could be a functional man. But because I am open minded, and willing to listen, I did just that.

By all appearances and conversations he seems to be just that. Though I haven't known him long, the screaming mi mi that I have in me isn't hollering RUN RUN.. not at all. That in itself is a surprise to me. But entering a relationship after years and years of not having one leaves me with a lot to question and learn. Not about him, but about life and myself.

I have discovered that the word Love is just that. It is a word that labels a feeling that I am having that no other word fits to. And there is a difference between loving someone and being in love. I do love him, and he has said the same to me. Even though he has tried to hold it back.